Exhausted
(entry written on friday but posted on tuesday)
Feeling extremely tired today..maybe its becos i have finally done wif my school stuff today ba.. had my IS enrolled..and now all my time table is out..Monday 9am-1pm..Tuesday 9am-6pm...Wednesday 12pm-5pm...Thursday 9am-5pm...Friday 8am-12pm.. Its not a good time table at all..and we have to struggle wif this time table till august..haiz..sad ar..
Yesterday went back to school to settle the clubs photos..and then went to play pool wif my president, SC president and lecturer Andy Ng..it had been a long time since i had played pool..so yah..u should know lah hor..hee..
Back to today.. IS enrolment is exciting..haha..getting into the web 5 minutes earlier to snatch seats..lol.. after all the excitment of the enrolment..meet up wif keith at cine cartel for dinner and bitching about stuff..guy tok..lol..after dinner at around 8+..we went home..feel kidda weird by going home so early from orchard but its okie..cos its so rare that i miss home so much..
On my way home..cos i am alone..i start to think..and think..and i believe that y i become so forgetfully these few weeks are because i think too much that i dont care so much about my others stuff..this is seriously not going the right way lah..and now i think that i need to say out wad i am thinking to regain my ultra good memory..okie..in fact i donno how many of my poly classmates had been visiting my blog..and i dont think it matters as well..wad i wanna say is that
MY CLASS HAD CHANGED
Its not a minor change on their character or attitude..its a major change in everyone thinking..
Before saying about other..i will say about myself..days ago..one of my school mates ask me if IT is the place that i wanna go after O level..i think for a while..i reply NO even i put it as my 2nd choice..then he tell me this.. if u dont like ur course..then jus enjoy the process of going through it..this sentence cant get out of my mind and so i think into it..yah..since i am already inside here..and so fast that 1 year had pass..i only have 2 years left in poly..i think back the stuff that i have done in my 1st year.. the stress of having a test every week that contribute only 5% making everyone so heck care..the slacking moment during mr lye lesson playing games..the joking session during mr tan and mr hung lesson making us feel not sianz..the cheonging time on UID and WP assignment..the excitment of getting back result...all these are the process that i have feel throughout my year 1..weather if u are my classmates or not..think back on the process that u have went through..u might not enjoy it at that moment..but now..do u feel kidda happy seeing urself coming all the way till here..i believe u do feel happy about it..
Frankly speaking..i am not a person that tell people who i am..like wad 1 of my classmate cynthia say in her blog about herself.."if u think u know me, think again"..yah..i think less than 10 ppls in the whole world know wad i am thinking..i am alway thinking..but have u wonder wad i am thinking? u may think that i think too much..but i can tell u i am not.. i am well prepare of wad is going to happen ahead of me..its like i am digging another road for me.. i nv make things fail under me..unless..i am forced to..and u may think that i am alway giving u a cold shoulder.. yah..sometime i am..or most of the time..reason being is that..cos i think from the negative to the positive..as i wanna prepare myself for the challenge ahead..if u really jus think of the good side..wad if something pop out that is not wad u expect? think of wad to do at that moment? its too late..if u think i am wrong..maybe but..this is me..i am like that..take for example.. UID.. i am being not chosen by my previous leader..and i form a team of my own that is not the best and may even be the worst..i myself know that the team that we are in are dead..but i prepare for it..and i made it..CATS also..when my classmates know that i am wif the same person that is working wif me again..u should know which member i am refering to if u are in my class.. those close to me wish me good luck..yah..thanks to u all..i am tell myself at that time "if you are giving up on urself cos of someone..u are not only sacrifying ur grade..u are sacrifying ur other innocent group members grade as well..so i cant be that selfish..for me and their own good..i have to do it to my best no matter wad..even if i didnt do well..at least i have done wad i should done" ..and i make it again..wad i mean i make it? top 5% in cohort..before that who have ever think that i can make it? i think no one..NO ONE..i am not trying to hao lian about myself..jus that i wanna say..that i am a person who is thinking of the negative side to prepare myself for it..have u all try thinking from the bad side first instead of the good side? u may be shock by the outcome..trust me..
if u are my classmates..pls reading every single word from here..i hope u will..
Now i move on to my class..thinking back to the orientation wif my class dated back to 24 may 2005..some of u may have forget about this date..or wad had happen on that day.. i remind u again..its the first day that we meet each other in school..and in class..and its also the first lunch that we had lunch at canteen 2 sitting down together..wif some of the girls teasing at augustus chinese..after that we had our games wif jensen be our team leader leading us wif cheers and the games that make us win the orientation games wif 50 bucks coffee beans voucher..and then the campfire where everyone is helping to dress up keith as a girl and we won again wif 100 bucks nydc vouchers..then move on to IE games where augs and keith had been placing bet on the casino..and kenna cheated by them..and we are so proud to lose 11 millions..highest record lose.. but we enjoy it..didnt we? variety show..where everyone is singing the barney song dacing..i think everyone enjoy themself..
The first outing.. 2 june 2005..celebrating shu hua birthday at nydc..we jus knoe each other for 10 days and we are already having outing..i believe its the first class to have such a big gathering out of school..where everyone is teasing the waiter there wif keith..having a great time down there..chitchating...laughing..then after that we had groups going to party world, K box, watching movie..had our first chalet on the first vacation in poly..i also believe that we are the first class to have chalet at aranda country club rm 2323.. had night cycling and sitting down at the coffee shop to chit chat..as for my own small group..rmb the day that its our first time to merlion park..that time have me, justine, shu hua, louis, yi zhi and keith..after dinner at lau pa sat..sit around there to chit chat and play true or dare..asking qns that is hard to reply..and rushing for the last train back..another time is during chinese new year where i, shu hua, yi zhi, keith and louis walked all the way from tiong bahru plaza to merlion park taking us 2hrs from 2am-4am..sitting beside the merlion seeing the brightest star in keith eye..staring into the dark sea ahead of us..waiting for the sky to brighten up..waiting for the firsts train to come..all these outing are unforgetable to me..i miss those days..can u all rmb all these things that had happened before? i really miss it..can we have another gathering like those above again? i hope we can..NO..should be..i believe we can..
Now..wad had our class changed to?
saying as a whole..we are not as close as last time..small groups had form..and playing politics against outcast ppl..i can say to those ppl whom we outcast them is that we dont wan to outcast them..but.. its their character and attitude that make us feel sick of them..the "US" that i am refering to is the majority of the class..u can think who u ar..small groups had been form..i can list them out..Justine, yi zhi, keith..cynthia and jolene...shu hua and augs...timothy, jacob, tsz kin, george...u see if i am correct..i may be wrong..but thats wad i see.. i know u wan to be more close wif the ppl that u wan to be..but have u ever wonder..we were once as a whole..and now.. wad i see is this..everyone had their view changed on others as well..as in..i am doing these to my friend and i think its okie..nth will happen..but no..ur friend is already bleeding inside the heart of theirs..and they still put up a mask telling u that..nah..its okie..bleh bleh.. u wont feel the pain of ur friend maybe after a long time and i am afraid u might regret for neglacting ur friend at that moment..
i know some of u are working..but does it really take u so hard so hard to make urself 1 day free to meet up wif ur friends or classmates to bitch about other ppls or toking crap? isit really so hard? if u are working..u at the most can learn 50 bucks per day..are u trying to tell me that ur friends dont worth 50 bucks in ur life? think about this..all the joy, excitment, achievement, sadness, fustration..all ur feeling..who is the one who see this? ur family? ur pets? stranger? its ur friends lah..without ur friends..do u think u can feel happy for wad u had achieve? cant u give more of ur time to ur friends? next time when u are all out in the market..ur workmates whom u regard as friends are call ENERMY
if u think that u are my friends..think about the things that i have say.. i am not trying to scold anyone indirectly..i jus wan u all to look around u..see if things are different compared to the past..if they are..try to change..dont jus sit down there and see the changes..u can say that wad i say may not be totally true..but this is wad i see..and i feel about it..i really feel sad about my class now..i know its totally impossible to get back to the days at nydc..but at least my groups can?
CCA stuff is alot to do..planning for BBQ, benjamin shears outing and arranging the events and out..updating the members list and assign ppl for 3DO..its tired..
i am exhausted..tired..and i am giving myself 3 days of holiday..no school stuff..no cca..nth..and thanks to someone who commented that my blog is boring..cos my life is boring..no choice..i hope u understand it..btw..wad makes a student life interesting???
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